Saturday, February 28, 2009

Life as a Melancholy, Part 4


Okay, this post is partly just to show off my motorcycle (some of the guys told me I have never put a pic of my new bike on my blog). This is what my 2001 Honda Shadow 1100 looks like.

But, seriously, part of defeating the Melancholy pit is in nurturing your own personal vitality. In six years of church planting as a melancholy, I have had some low lows when I've gotten depleted either spiritually, physically, or relationally.

I was reminded recently in a coaching network I'm in that there is also an emotional aspect to our vitality. Bill Hybels says our emotional tanks are filled by operating in our highest spiritual gifts and--are your ready for this...playing.
Yeah, I said it...did God mean for us to play? Paul says in 1 Timothy 6:17 that God is the one who gives us "all things richly to enjoy."

Riding my bike DOES fill my tank. I can't describe it all, but life is good when I ride regularly.
It's another story for another time that my wife let me ride, but melancholies, take note. You need to nurture emotional vitality.

Life as a Melancholy, Part 3

I continue to hear stories about how the sermon last week was a lights-on experience for a lot of High C people. If you missed this series, You’ve Got Personality, you can get download it (free) at iTunes or peachtreechurch.com.
I’ve blogged this week about all my secrets to not going into the Death Spiral. It’s all about letting Jesus live His life (which is not hindered by the flesh side of a C temperament) through you.
As I’ve prepared for our new series starting tomorrow, I realized another aspect of how to avoid the Death Spiral.
Focus on serving others.
Part of our C is to think about how poorly things are going for us (whether it’s true or not—in fact, by the very definition of being a C, it’s really not as bad as we think).
But when we obsess over our situation, our finances, our view of our perceived success or failure, we are left to stew in our melancholy juices.
But there is a MUCH better (and more holy) way.
Serve someone else. It takes the focus off of me. It puts our admirable C qualities to good use for the good of our neighbors instead of letting our dark side spiral out of control.
Jesus modeled it for us. (John 13:1–17)
It’s not about me, after all.


Life as a Melancholy, Part 2

I can’t believe I didn’t mention this as a cure to the blues.


Every melancholy should own an iPod.


Worship songs lift me out of the pit and remind me of Truth like nothing else.


Here are a few of my favorites (specifically geared to avoiding the Melancholy Death Spiral):


1. The Voice of Truth – Casting Crowns
2. Any Michael Card (I love his theologically accurate songs) – Sunrise of Your Smile, The Basin & The Towel, the whole Ancient Faith set, The Final Word…he’s got a song about his grandfather being a pastor that makes me cry almost every time I hear it (Title: For F.F.B.)
3. Any Keith Green (I love his passion for the Gospel; it convicts me)
4. Sarah Groves (Very theological as well) – The Word, Painting Pictures of Egypt, and He’s Always Been Faithful all rock my world.


I have a playlist on my Ipod called “Truth for David” I listen to it about once a week. Here’s a few of the Spiral-busting songs in it:


1. Good to Be Alive (Geoff Moore)
2. The Voice of Truth (Casting Crowns)
3. The Word (Sarah Groves)
4. Painting Pictures of Egypt (Sarah Groves)
5. He’s Always Been Faithful (Sarah Groves)
6. Blessed Be Your Name (Matt Redman)
7. Beautiful Savior (Tim Hughes)


I need to get Mighty to Save and this AWESOME new song we’re doing at church “Yahweh”

Hope this helps!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Life as a Melancholy, Part 1

I’ve gotten lots of feedback from the message Sunday.


Melancholies saying, “I didn’t know anyone else struggled with the Death Spiral you described. I thought it was just me.” Lots of Cs in the body have confirmed this frequent bout with down emotions.


I’ve told Katie before, “It’s a curse to be me.” But Jesus is able to make us stand (Romans 14:4). Here’s some counsel and encouragement for my High C friends.



One thing I didn’t have a chance to mention is that I think that the spiral has to do with “high standards” a C has how he or she feels life should be.


We tend to be perfectionists, have high standards for ourselves (and others), and when our standards are not met, we are very hard on ourselves and think we are failures. Enter the death spiral.



Other temperaments have lower standards and think life is fine the way it is. But not us.



The seminary prof who taught me all this said Paul was a C/D (same as me) and that that is the most tortured personality there is because they have very high standards (C) and they are task-oriented and feel responsible to reach them (D). You see it in Paul in Romans 7:14–25:


“Why do I do the things I don’t want to do?...Who will deliver me from this body of death…”


It is amazing how quick it can happen for me.


If you want to study this more, you should borrow The Spirit-Controlled Temperament by Tim Lahaye from me. It will help with the C Death Spiral.

Here are all the spiritual secrets I know:


1. Take every thought captive to make it obey Christ (2 Cor 10:5)


2. Put on your spiritual armor (Eph 6:10–18)


3. Mediate on God’s Word and promises—nothing better to get you out of the Pit.(Phil 4:8–9).


4. Don’t worry—but PRAY—and the PEACE OF GOD which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:6–7)


5. Recount your blessings and God’s victories in your life (Exodus 15:1–21, Psalms)


6. Pray and look for God’s hand at work in your life now (Don’t be shy to get an objective party to help you see this).


7. Remember: “By definition, things are not as bad as you think.” You’re a C and you will see the world worse than it is; so whatever you think, it’s not as bad as you think.


8. Think about the good side of being a melancholy: What makes you feel down often is the same thing that makes you a very sensitive person to others. You feel deeply, even others’ pain and feelings. That’s a very Christ-like quality to have. Like everything, it does have a dark side to watch out for…but life without Cs would be a lot less caring.


9. Realize you think about what people say to you far more than they do. Let it go.


10. Surrounding yourself with encouraging Is and Ss (Katie, Tandy, Tanya Cole, Candace Raines, Angie Wheelus, Andy Whitworth) as well as Cs who know the struggle.


One you know the battle, it’s easier to pull yourself out of it by realizing


1) It’s not as bad as you think.

2) You do have control over your emotions…I can choose not to go down the path.

3) It’s more fun to come out of it than to stay there.

The seminary prof I mentioned above believed Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” was his temperament.


It’s definitely one of the thorns for Cs. Jesus told Paul about his thorn:


“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”


Paul’s reply should be ours:


“Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”


BTW, I am a great encourager for melancholies because I know the pattern. Send me an email or write me on facebook, and I can give you some good perspective and you’ll feel better.


Print this out and keep it in front of you.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Knowing Jesus

Just got back from a great conference (churchplanters.com).  I’ve been thinking through what I received.  It was very good stuff. 


 I want to listen to Ed Stetzer and Bob Roberts again right away.  They are very Christ-focused.  Stetzer’s notes from yesterday are here.


Each year this is the most spiritual conference to me personally.  This year, the Lord was confirming in me things He keeps showing me.  My personal take-away from the conference this year is that the goal is to make disciples, not grow churches (Matthew 28:18-20).


We HAVE to make it always about knowing Jesus Christ.  He is where the life-change comes from…He is the One who forgives sin; He is Who preserves someone through a storm in life; He is Who empowers Someone to live well according to God’s design in marriage, money, parenting, and a million other things that make us who God created us to be (which brings glory to Him).  He is the One who defeats our pride and protects us from the Enemy. He is the One who Deserves our worship. He is the One who saved us.  Anything less or different than knowing Jesus that we focus on is just chaff.


My prayer this morning has been that what was true of Paul would be true of me, our staff, and would be what Peachtree Church is known for:


    For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.    1 Corinthians 2:2


 Although I have “known” this truth for a long time (I preached a similar sermon at Dallas Seminary chapel the week before graduation), we are all prone to cover up knowing Jesus with knowing stuff. So, let me flesh out a little of what I believe it looks like because there have been seasons in my teaching where I believe I am following 1 Cor 2:2 and  other seasons (I say to my shame and with repentance) where I have missed the pearl of great price.


 So there is no confusion:


1.       I believe the You’ve Got Personality WAS a good example of teaching knowing Christ.  The application of each sermon (I’ll use the C from last week), what that the cure to the melancholy blues is taking thoughts captives to Christ.  Moses in Exodus and Numbers was to show Cs what the problem is (you are prone to depression and death spirals)…what is the answer?  Overcoming the flesh with the power of Christ.


a.       Thinking of other recent series, State of the Church, He Shall Be Called, and even the Perfect Storm – in my heart and preparation, a focus on knowing Jesus was driving me.


Do help me make sure that that point (Jesus is the answer) is getting through in the sermons…if not, I have robbed the power of the Gospel.


 2.      What is teaching that is not about knowing Christ?  Anytime we make it about simply knowing more or being more disciplined, we are missing the mark.  Willpower might even look like life-change for a while…but “our righteousness is as filthy rags” because it is done in the power of the flesh, it leads to pride, and furthermore, it won’t carry you through the storm.  I know in my counseling of couples over the years, in the midst of crazy arguing, etc.  I’ve sometimes just tried to get them to do x (have a civil conversation, whatever), and I’ve often felt afterward that I did the equivalent of putting a band-aid on someone who is lethally poisoned. They needed the antidote, and I gave them false comfort.  When I do share that they need Jesus, sometimes it has fallen on deaf ears, but that does not weaken the power of the Gospel for those whom God is calling at the moment.  (This is not to say that I’m always not thinking about the Gospel, but I did want to clearly illustrate the difference…God forgive me to the extent I’ve preached and taught the chaff instead of the pearl.)



Note: I’m not putting our teaching ministry in a box to say that doing different types of sermons (felt needs, teaching theology, etc.) are wrong…but each one should be part of pointing people to Jesus.


 A great question was raised at dinner last night.  Are we discipling people at Peachtree?  A more specific question that really gets to the heart of the issue is, Are we helping people know Jesus? (leading people into a life-changing relationship with Jesus)...or something less. And if we are leading people to know Jesus, I believe we will see fruit.


Are we really discipling?  The comments from Cs on Sundays (and Ds on three weeks ago, and Is two weeks ago) suggest to me that we helped a significant number of people know that Jesus is the solution to the problems of being overbearing, insecure, and depressing.


As I think of Men’s Ministry, WEM, SM, CM, Connect Group  (topics and being part of the body), there are major aspects of each where men, women, students, and children are being helped to know Jesus. I think we are all guilty sometimes of missing the pearl (knowing Jesus) for the chaff (even in our own lives) and thus are in danger of doing it as we pass the Truth on to others.


 I’m starting to ramble now, but Are we helping people to know Jesus?  Yes,  there are some GREAT Christ-focused things going on in DOZENS of specific people I can think of, and SCORES of people who hear the sermons, certainly Katie and myself, I see lots of evidence of it in our staff as well.  The five couples in Fireproof with Chris & Angie Wheelus (most of whom we are REJOICING to see in a marriage class) I believe are being pointed to know Jesus.  The Truth Project…Crazy Love…


 Is everything we’re doing helping people know Jesus?  Probably not, and we need to cut that stuff out.


 I desperately want this to be true of my life, our lives, and our ministry:


7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.


8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,


9 and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,


10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;


11 in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.


12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.


13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,


14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. -          Philippians 3:7-14



Hold me accountable for making it all about Jesus.  We will see fruit if we do that.