Life as a Melancholy, Part 1

I’ve gotten lots of feedback from the message Sunday.

Melancholies saying, “I didn’t know anyone else struggled with the Death Spiral you described. I thought it was just me.” Lots of Cs in the body have confirmed this frequent bout with down emotions.

I’ve told Katie before, “It’s a curse to be me.” But Jesus is able to make us stand (Romans 14:4). Here’s some counsel and encouragement for my High C friends.

One thing I didn’t have a chance to mention is that I think that the spiral has to do with “high standards” a C has how he or she feels life should be.

We tend to be perfectionists, have high standards for ourselves (and others), and when our standards are not met, we are very hard on ourselves and think we are failures. Enter the death spiral.

Other temperaments have lower standards and think life is fine the way it is. But not us.

The seminary prof who taught me all this said Paul was a C/D (same as me) and that that is the most tortured personality there is because they have very high standards (C) and they are task-oriented and feel responsible to reach them (D). You see it in Paul in Romans 7:14–25:

“Why do I do the things I don’t want to do?...Who will deliver me from this body of death…”

It is amazing how quick it can happen for me.

If you want to study this more, you should borrow The Spirit-Controlled Temperament by Tim Lahaye from me. It will help with the C Death Spiral.

Here are all the spiritual secrets I know:

1. Take every thought captive to make it obey Christ (2 Cor 10:5)

2. Put on your spiritual armor (Eph 6:10–18)

3. Mediate on God’s Word and promises—nothing better to get you out of the Pit.(Phil 4:8–9).

4. Don’t worry—but PRAY—and the PEACE OF GOD which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:6–7)

5. Recount your blessings and God’s victories in your life (Exodus 15:1–21, Psalms)

6. Pray and look for God’s hand at work in your life now (Don’t be shy to get an objective party to help you see this).

7. Remember: “By definition, things are not as bad as you think.” You’re a C and you will see the world worse than it is; so whatever you think, it’s not as bad as you think.

8. Think about the good side of being a melancholy: What makes you feel down often is the same thing that makes you a very sensitive person to others. You feel deeply, even others’ pain and feelings. That’s a very Christ-like quality to have. Like everything, it does have a dark side to watch out for…but life without Cs would be a lot less caring.

9. Realize you think about what people say to you far more than they do. Let it go.

10. Surrounding yourself with encouraging Is and Ss (Katie, Tandy, Tanya Cole, Candace Raines, Angie Wheelus, Andy Whitworth) as well as Cs who know the struggle.

One you know the battle, it’s easier to pull yourself out of it by realizing

1) It’s not as bad as you think.

2) You do have control over your emotions…I can choose not to go down the path.

3) It’s more fun to come out of it than to stay there.

The seminary prof I mentioned above believed Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” was his temperament.

It’s definitely one of the thorns for Cs. Jesus told Paul about his thorn:

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”

Paul’s reply should be ours:

“Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”

BTW, I am a great encourager for melancholies because I know the pattern. Send me an email or write me on facebook, and I can give you some good perspective and you’ll feel better.

Print this out and keep it in front of you.